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FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
Then it's a shame we can't get any here.
Then it's a shame we can't get any here.
FROM: roxas@cdc.org
Yeah, they could be really useful. Once you made friends with the moogles, they'd show you more and more powerful ones to buy too.
Yeah, they could be really useful. Once you made friends with the moogles, they'd show you more and more powerful ones to buy too.
FROM: roxas@cdc.org
All kinds of things. Wardrobes, feather dusters, tea sets.
All kinds of things. Wardrobes, feather dusters, tea sets.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
I suppose we'll just have to try and avoid anything poisonous, instead.
I suppose we'll just have to try and avoid anything poisonous, instead.
FROM: roxas@cdc.org
I don't really get how you're supposed to tell just from looking...
I don't really get how you're supposed to tell just from looking...
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
I have a general rule. If it tastes bad, don't eat it.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
It's never steered me wrong.
I have a general rule. If it tastes bad, don't eat it.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
It's never steered me wrong.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
Do. I can recommend the inns of Paris, if you ever feel the need to practice.
Do. I can recommend the inns of Paris, if you ever feel the need to practice.
FROM: roxas@cdc.org
Is that what your world's called?
[ ...It is... technically in Disney Land.... they just call it the City of Bells.... ]
Is that what your world's called?
[ ...It is... technically in Disney Land.... they just call it the City of Bells.... ]
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Making sure you made it back to the camp safe and sound. You okay, Roxas?
Making sure you made it back to the camp safe and sound. You okay, Roxas?
[ It takes him a little while to answer. ]
FROM: roxas@cdc.org
Not really. I'm glad we got... some of us back.
FROM: roxas@cdc.org
But it was really horrible.
FROM: roxas@cdc.org
Not really. I'm glad we got... some of us back.
FROM: roxas@cdc.org
But it was really horrible.
[He'd known it was going to be harder on the youngest members of the squad. That doesn't mean his heart goes out to Roxas any less.]
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
It was. Can I do anything for you? Company? Cowl-back ride? Gun lesson?
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
It was. Can I do anything for you? Company? Cowl-back ride? Gun lesson?
FROM: roxas@cdc.org
I'm gonna... go see if there are any telusa out playing at the north end of camp. If you wanted to come.
[ That sounds like company would be cool. ]
I'm gonna... go see if there are any telusa out playing at the north end of camp. If you wanted to come.
[ That sounds like company would be cool. ]
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
I'll see you there shortly.
[He heads out that way a few minutes later, after grabbing his hoodie and pulling it on. The mornings can get chilly here and they'll be near the water. Then he's headed out, hoping that they're playing.
It doesn't take him long to spot Roxas and Garrus joins him.]
Hey there. They out?
I'll see you there shortly.
[He heads out that way a few minutes later, after grabbing his hoodie and pulling it on. The mornings can get chilly here and they'll be near the water. Then he's headed out, hoping that they're playing.
It doesn't take him long to spot Roxas and Garrus joins him.]
Hey there. They out?
[ His own little hood is pulled up over his head, and he glances out from the confines of it, his stupid big blue eyes make it hard for him to hide what he's really feeling, not that he's really trying to right now. ]
There's a couple.
[ He takes a handful of berries from his pocket, tossing them strategically out onto the water for the creatures. ]
Hopefully that'll... bring in a few more.
[ He liked the telusa, they were friendly and playful, and after how not friendly the planet has been the past few days... that's pretty much all Roxas has the stomach for. ]
There's a couple.
[ He takes a handful of berries from his pocket, tossing them strategically out onto the water for the creatures. ]
Hopefully that'll... bring in a few more.
[ He liked the telusa, they were friendly and playful, and after how not friendly the planet has been the past few days... that's pretty much all Roxas has the stomach for. ]
Hopefully.
[After a beat, Garrus puts an arm around the little guy. It's hard to know what to say here. Roxas has every right to be upset and discouraged, and there's nothing Garrus can really offer that's encouraging. This is just the start. They lost people and slaughtered two villages; there's only more death to come.]
I don't... really know what to say that would help here. I'm sorry. Came out to be here for you and this is one of the times when I don't have answers.
[After a beat, Garrus puts an arm around the little guy. It's hard to know what to say here. Roxas has every right to be upset and discouraged, and there's nothing Garrus can really offer that's encouraging. This is just the start. They lost people and slaughtered two villages; there's only more death to come.]
I don't... really know what to say that would help here. I'm sorry. Came out to be here for you and this is one of the times when I don't have answers.
[ Roxas has never had a lot of hugs in his life. Part of it was its incredible brevity, but also the company he has kept. There's the cult where he was just a tool, and now the CDC where he might also be just a tool. Although he doesn't feel that way when Garrus gives him or a hug, or when Kino tells him they're so glad he's himself, or when Armada had told him he'd been capable of getting his own heart back all along.
He just leans into Garrus, chin tucked down, ]
All of this was.. pretty wrong. [ Although it's hard to articulate what's so different about Ajna versus Macha. Hard to explain the difference between this and the way he's always gone world to world killing things, fighting monsters, having to deal with atrocities. ] The Neraki shouldn't... have done that. It was cruel. And horrible.
[ And then he twists so he can just press his face into the dark space against Garrus's side, ]
But this guy in camp was kicking around one of their bodies and stomping on it too. That wasn't better.
[ Maybe just talking about it makes him feel better, in its own way. Maybe not, because he adds miserably, ]
The smell is horrible.
[ All the bodies. And the burning flesh. ]
He just leans into Garrus, chin tucked down, ]
All of this was.. pretty wrong. [ Although it's hard to articulate what's so different about Ajna versus Macha. Hard to explain the difference between this and the way he's always gone world to world killing things, fighting monsters, having to deal with atrocities. ] The Neraki shouldn't... have done that. It was cruel. And horrible.
[ And then he twists so he can just press his face into the dark space against Garrus's side, ]
But this guy in camp was kicking around one of their bodies and stomping on it too. That wasn't better.
[ Maybe just talking about it makes him feel better, in its own way. Maybe not, because he adds miserably, ]
The smell is horrible.
[ All the bodies. And the burning flesh. ]
[Garrus' mandibles draw very close to his face as Roxas talks. He's concerned for the boy, but also disgusted that someone they're working with would be so callous as to kick bodies around. Maybe they'd lost someone here. If it's in grief, it's excusable. But if it had been done in fun... Garrus isn't going to ask who, or for a description. It's better if he doesn't know.]
There's no call for cruelty. For inflicting more harm than we have to. Our job is... It's what we've got to do, but things have gone farther than they should.
[He sighs, and he squeezes Roxas' upper arm.]
When emotions run high, things get out of hand. We invaded the neraki's world and they're afraid. Maybe they hurt someone the guy cared about. A lot of people got hurt, and some died. You wouldn't just go and punch anyone, but you did punch Ansem, because he hurt you. That's how it works, sometimes.
I wish it didn't. Wish there wasn't ever any anger and pain that spilled over into what we did or do, but people are people. They feel things, they act on those feelings. And...
[Another sigh, and when he continues talking his voice is heavier.]
You get used to the smell. It's an awful moment when you realize that you have. But you do.
There's no call for cruelty. For inflicting more harm than we have to. Our job is... It's what we've got to do, but things have gone farther than they should.
[He sighs, and he squeezes Roxas' upper arm.]
When emotions run high, things get out of hand. We invaded the neraki's world and they're afraid. Maybe they hurt someone the guy cared about. A lot of people got hurt, and some died. You wouldn't just go and punch anyone, but you did punch Ansem, because he hurt you. That's how it works, sometimes.
I wish it didn't. Wish there wasn't ever any anger and pain that spilled over into what we did or do, but people are people. They feel things, they act on those feelings. And...
[Another sigh, and when he continues talking his voice is heavier.]
You get used to the smell. It's an awful moment when you realize that you have. But you do.
[ That’s an apt name, actually. Even in d’Artagnan’s time. ]
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
My world is Earth. My country is France, and Paris is her capital city. It’s my home, now.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
My world is Earth. My country is France, and Paris is her capital city. It’s my home, now.
[ It makes him feel bad to hear Ansem mentioned. Especially because he knows, in that stupid way he knows things deep down inside himself, that Ansem was one of the recruits kidnapped, knows he's in medical and in pain after having that horrible thing done to him. Roxas didn't wish that on anybody. ]
I thought... [ And here's where he hesitates, and there's a strange tone to his voice. His horror and sorrow is still there, but there's also something steely. Something cold and angry too. ] I could handle it, no matter what.
[ And maybe what he's upset about is his own naivety? Maybe that anger is his determination to continue onwards in a cruel and unfair world that has hurt him more times than it should have by now. ]
I guess I have a lot to learn still.
[ And it would be a delicate balance of learning how to handle the smell of death and not tainting the precious heart he struggled so long to obtain for himself. ]
I thought... [ And here's where he hesitates, and there's a strange tone to his voice. His horror and sorrow is still there, but there's also something steely. Something cold and angry too. ] I could handle it, no matter what.
[ And maybe what he's upset about is his own naivety? Maybe that anger is his determination to continue onwards in a cruel and unfair world that has hurt him more times than it should have by now. ]
I guess I have a lot to learn still.
[ And it would be a delicate balance of learning how to handle the smell of death and not tainting the precious heart he struggled so long to obtain for himself. ]
FROM: roxas@cdc.org
Oh! A lot of the recruits are from Earth. I never visited that one...
Oh! A lot of the recruits are from Earth. I never visited that one...
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
Most of them are from Earth's future, from my point of view. At least from what I've discovered so far.
Most of them are from Earth's future, from my point of view. At least from what I've discovered so far.
FROM: roxas@cdc.org
It's weird how they do that. I'm from the future compared to my friend too.
It's weird how they do that. I'm from the future compared to my friend too.
[This ground is so tricky, and Garrus takes a breath before talking.]
No one should ever get to a place where they can handle cruelty. We have to kill. But they don't have to make us cruel, or cold, or callous. We don't have to change who we are.
[He can't blame anyone for not knowing how to balance this. Even Garrus is struggling. Today he broke his personal code, one he'd held to for years. No part of this is easy.]
Learn, but learn while staying you. By staying Roxas. Because if you lose who you are, then what's the point of living? It becomes existence. Tedium. One day, and then another day, and no worth in them.
[One of the telusa splashes its way out, weaving around their feet, and Garrus watches it for a moment before continuing.]
Not shutting off what you feel means it's gonna hurt more. But that's what makes us people, the pain as well as the joy.
No one should ever get to a place where they can handle cruelty. We have to kill. But they don't have to make us cruel, or cold, or callous. We don't have to change who we are.
[He can't blame anyone for not knowing how to balance this. Even Garrus is struggling. Today he broke his personal code, one he'd held to for years. No part of this is easy.]
Learn, but learn while staying you. By staying Roxas. Because if you lose who you are, then what's the point of living? It becomes existence. Tedium. One day, and then another day, and no worth in them.
[One of the telusa splashes its way out, weaving around their feet, and Garrus watches it for a moment before continuing.]
Not shutting off what you feel means it's gonna hurt more. But that's what makes us people, the pain as well as the joy.
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